The Couple Relationship and the Couple Bond. The Stages of the Couple

Abstract: This article explores a perspective on the stages of a couple’s development. From the three epistemic theories of psychoanalysis, those of stages, positions, and organizers, the author chooses the first, using the mathematical model of a number axis: from minus one (the single person, the one-person theory), through zero (the constitutive scene of the couple’s formation), to stage one, marked by narcissism; stage two, marked by the fraternal bond; and stage three, marked by the child. The article focuses on the first stages, illustrating them with moments from therapy in which a specific stage is strongly manifested. The therapeutic aim is to follow evolution along two coordinates – that of relationship (the real axis, of direct expression and verbal communication) and that of bond (the unconscious axis, of transmission and unconscious alliances). From the article’s perspective, the five stages can be found in the evolution of any couple that survives. Due to space constraints, this article focuses on the initial stages.